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What Men and Women Orgasms Are Like

Sexual intercourse can still be enjoyed without orgasm. But the inability to reach orgasm for some people is a big problem. Therefore, it is important to know what and how orgasms occur.

Orgasm is a sensation that is felt during sexual intercourse with an intense and climax. This sensation can be felt by men and women.

Orgasm in Men

When reaching orgasm, generally the breath of men and women will be a faster and stronger and faster heartbeat. Nevertheless, there are fundamental differences in orgasm between men and women.

The period of orgasm in men begins just before the semen comes out until the last semen comes out. But sometimes some men experience orgasm without ejaculation. Before reaching orgasm, men experience several stages which are then identified by experts with the names as follows:

1. Sexually stimulated (sexual excitement)

The erect penis becomes erect due to sexual stimulation, both physically and psychologically. Erections are caused by blood flow that fills the area along the penis. The scrotum tightens and the testicles are drawn closer to the body.

2. Period of preparation / flat phase (plateau)

Thighs and buttocks tighten. The head of the penis expands and the blood vessels around the penis are full of blood flow. The testicles can expand to become 50 percent larger. Blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing frequency increase.

3. Orgasm and ejaculation

Contractions in the pelvic floor muscles and the prostate gland force semen containing sperm and sperm fluid out through the urethra. Sperm is produced in the testes and sperm fluid is produced by the prostate gland and seminal vesicles that are behind the urinary tract. The process of discharge of semen is called ejaculation.

4. Resolution

The penis and testicles return to their original size. Breath and heartbeat that had been tight slowly subsiding. If a man is aroused but does not ejaculate, the resolution process can last longer and can cause pain in the testicles.

Unlike women, men cannot ejaculate immediately after releasing semen. The period after ejaculation and the penis and testicles return to normal conditions can take place in minutes to hours.

Semen production in men can be increased in several ways, such as consuming enough fluids before sexual intercourse, delaying ejaculation, avoiding masturbation for several days, and stopping smoking. Men who smoke have fewer sperm counts than nonsmokers.

Orgasm in Women

Before reaching orgasm, women experience several stages with the names as follows:

1. Sexually stimulated (sexual excitement)

When a woman's arousal arises, the blood vessels in the vagina expand and the circulation of blood to the vaginal wall increases. This condition causes the discharge of lubricating fluid in the vagina to become wet. The upper part of the vagina expands. While breathing and pulse become faster. This period will determine the achievement of orgasm or not.

3. Period of preparation / flat phase (plateau)

Blood flowing to the bottom of the vagina makes it tighten. More blood flowing to the breasts makes the nipples stiffen. The clitoris is pulled closer to the pubic bone.

4. Orgasm

An intense and pleasant sensation that gives rise to pleasure, is felt after sexual intercourse and increased sexual desire. In women characterized by genital muscle contractions.

5. Resolution

When the female reproductive organs and organs return to their original state.

During orgasm, a woman's body experiences something similar to a man's body during ejaculation. In women, there is a surge of contractions in the sex organs that occur every 0.8 seconds, during orgasm.

In a small proportion of women, orgasm can be seen from the discharge of clear fluid from Skene's glands near the urethra. This fluid usually comes out during intense sexual activity or during orgasm.

Unlike men, women can feel more than one orgasm in a short duration of time. After completing the first orgasm, women can experience orgasm again in the next minute or two.

However, many young women rarely or never experience orgasm more than once. Because this requires learning and cooperation with a partner. Over time, if you learn and want it, women can experience orgasm more than once.

Only 25% of women can orgasm during sex

Even so, several studies report that only about 25 percent of women can reach a climax when having sex with a partner. The others, whether they climax but don't realize it, or never have an orgasm at all.

In contrast, more than 90 percent of men always reach orgasm every time they have sex - as long as they can get an erection, a few minutes of sexual arousal will lead to ejaculation.

Research Rachel Pauls, a urogynecologist in Ohio, investigates the size and location of the clitoris and whether it can affect their ease of reaching orgasm during penetrative sex. The findings of the clitoral MRI scan of 30 female participants stated that the smaller the size and the farther the distance of the clitoris from the vagina, the harder it would be for women to reach orgasm.

Why do so many women fake their orgasms?

For most women, it takes an average of 20 minutes to reach one orgasm and lasts only about 20 seconds. In men, the peak of orgasm can be felt after 2-10 minutes after sex. In most cases, a woman will reach orgasm and their sex partner is aware of these signs, then either she orgasm first or change what she is doing. As a result, many of them fake orgasms to satisfy their sex partners.

Causes of Difficulties Experiencing Orgasm

Some women find it difficult to reach orgasm. While some others achieve it more easily through masturbation, but difficult through sexual penetration. Difficulty reaching orgasm can be caused by many things, including:

  • It's hard to relax.
  • Lack of knowledge about how sexual relations that make both parties comfortable.
  • Not getting enough stimulation.
  • Depression or feeling traumatized by having had a bad sexual experience.
  • Disorders of the thyroid gland.
  • Antidepressant drug side effects.
  • Excessive drinking.

Men may also have problems reaching orgasm. In general, this is due to psychological factors, such as experiencing a traumatic event. Being taking certain medications can also make it difficult for men to reach orgasm. Also, even men who are accustomed to masturbating will need more time to orgasm.

The difficulty of orgasm can be overcome by sex therapy. To achieve orgasm in men and women together, it takes a basic intimacy between the two during sexual intercourse. There are several ways you can try to build intimacy, including talking about personal things that each of them likes, massaging each other, showering together, kissing, hugging, or oral sex as a warm-up.



  1. Womenhealthmag. The Female Orgasm: How It Works.
  2. Delvin. David. 2015. Net Doctor. How to Help Your Female Partner Have Orgasm.
  3. NHS Choices. UK. 2016. Sexual Arousal in Women.
  4. NHS Choices. UK. 2016. Sexual Arousal in Men.

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Is a health and wellness enthusiast. In him free time, she loves to travel and taste different types of teas.

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